Most women approach men two ways when it comes to sex. Either they want to see what he is working with or they want to show him what she is working with. Marcus was the man that I wanted to show what I was working with. Especially when he was so forward about him being married, I felt the need to go at him hard. I made sure I was always on my "A" game when it came to the bedroom, and everything else. It was IMPERATIVE for me to let him know that I was worth leaving her for.
I knew every inch of Marcus's body. I pulled every trick I knew out of my bag (and some I made up). I had to be extra good because I didn't want him to go back to wifey. I made myself available for him even when it wasn't about sex. I pulled strings for him with some realtor friends of mine when he was looking for condos to buy. When I went to the grocery store, I shopped for myself and him. When there was an event he needed to attend, I made sure he was always looking his best because although not to many people knew about us, he still represented me. We wined and dined in the nicest of restaurants. We went to plays, the movies, concerts, and other gatherings. The fact that we did them in other cities or counties didn't matter to me. All that mattered that was I was with Marcus and Marcus was with me. But now as I sit here and think about it, I was starting to get tired of not being able to take him to my family dinner and him not being able to come to church with me. Even after his ex wife moved to the northern part of the state, Marcus was still unwilling to make our relationship open. "Everything is still not final yet, baby", was always his excuse. Well how long does it take to get a fucking divorce? Now I know. It was never in the making.
It has been two months since our little car crash. Because I felt guilty, I made arrangements to have his car repaired. We have not seen each other we have talked and argued and cursed each other out. In one phone call I have been his bitch and his whore and in the next he can't breathe without. This shit is driving me crazy. It has been like this for two months. I have been tempted so many nights to ride over to his place and apologize ten I get made everytime I even think about the pictures on facebook. Although he knows that I can see his wife's page he still three weeks ago wrote her a beautiful message on their wedding anniversary. She in turn, wrote him a message that made me want to cry. With all this confusion and uproar and mixed emotions, why am I sitting in Shooters, one of our spots, to meet him and talk?
Don't judge me damnit! I'm weak for him. His smile, his cologne, his touch..... Let me stop before I get all hot and bothered. I promised myself that I was going to be strong. I am only here to talk. Only one hug when he gets here and one when we leave. And we will leave separately! To keep myself busy I start playing a game on my phone. I look up just in time to see Marcus walk in. He has on my favorite jeans, a green and white button down shirt with the white V-neck vest. His two carat diamond earrings are sparkling in his ears against his beautiful black skin. As he approaches me I spin around on my bar stool to get a better look. Damn! Without saying a word, he lifts me from the seat and gives me a hug and softly kisses my neck. I close my eyes and take in his scent as he holds me tightly. I can stay like this all night. I think I will.
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