This Man- a poem

I have never been the girl to be without a guy. I've always kept one in the hole. I have never been so taken with a man that I gave up everything for him. So why am I crying over this one? He is so not my type. He is a red dude. He has gorgeous light brown eyes and the neatest goatee. He has nice teeth and smile that would make most women melt. He's a sweet talker. A flirt. A charmer. He's as smooth as butter. And shit like that never used to bother me. Back in the day, I would have laughed at him. I wouldn't even have given him the time of day, but this one, this man.......

I shake my head and wonder..What did I do wrong? How did I get caught slipping? Lying here in his arms listening to his heart beat is oh so nice. But it would be even nicer if I knew his heart was beating for me. This once every two weeks thing is not the kind of girl I am. I'm used to being wined an dined. I'm used to having a manwaiting on me to call him. But this one got me hooked. It takes all of my strength not to call him every night. I pray every night for that the Lord will take him from my heart, from my soul, from my spirit, from my smell, my sight, my taste. But it seems as much as I pray for Him to take him away from me, the more I yearn for him.

"Maybe I'm a fool in love", I sing to myself. But why? I have a man that loves me unconditionally, unequivocally. But this man...... I close my eyes an I see his smile. In my dreams I can feel his touch. Hell, I smile just thinking about him. I anxiously await for the few hours I get to see him,whenever I get to see him.

I used to feel guilty. Not amymore. I think God misunderstood my request. My heart doesn't reside at home anymore. It resides inside of that man. I guess this is hard for you to understand but I love this man. My other man. The man on the side. The man who haves me when he wants me. But when he haves me.....it's so worth it. So every minute I get with him it is special. It's just us. No her, no him. Just me and this man.