Loving Me To Death

Damn! Here he goes again. It's been awhile so I thought he had given up. He's in the kitchen. If I turn over to get the phone, he will hear me. Maybe if I just act like I'm sleep, he won't bother me.

I lie as still as could. I heard him coming down the hallway. In four steps he would be in my bedroom. If I try to get up out of bed and run tothe bathroom, he would catch me. If he didn't catch me, he would knock the door down,then I would have another expense. I open my eyes a little just to see if I could see him. He has something in his hands. I'm too scared to even pray. I wish he would just leave me alone. I don't think he will kill me, but his aim is to make me suffer for trying to divorce him.

"Baby", he whispers in my ear. His breath is hot. He is kneeling beside the bed. I turn over so that my face is away from, pretending that I'm still asleep. He tugs the sheets off of me. I lay there shivering, partially from cold and partially from fear. He strokes my back. I shiver from his touch. He's standing over me now. Sometimes he will break in just to watch me sleep.

He's moving away from the bed. I can't tell what he is doing but he is in my closet. Now I know hwat he has in his hands. It's scissors. He is cutting up clothes. Asshole! I don't know or care what clothes they are as long as he hurries and leaves.

I hate when he comes here. I wish he would just go away. He is undressing. He doesn't have much to take off because he always breaks into my apartment with nothing but his boxers and socks on. A freaking criminal.

He climbs into bed behind me. I turn. "What are you doing here, Kevin?"

"You don't want to see your husband?". He has a big smirk on his face. He knows that I hate him.

"What now?"

"I want to make love to my wife, that's what. "

"No. I want you to leave!"

"Make me leave!" He starts unbuttoning the shirt that I have worn to bed.

"Stop Kevin! Just get out!"

"Shut up, Bitch! I'm not going anywhere!" He snatches the rest of the shirt off of my body as I get out of bed.

He jumps up and wrestles me down to the floor. "Where did you think you were going?" He is too strong. He has his naked body on me. I already know what is going to happen next.

I have learned to not even fight with him anymore. The more I fight, the rougher he is. The first break in, I decided to fight him back. I had to miss work for three days because my eye was swollen and my lip was burst.

I close my eyes and let the tears roll down my face as my husband raped me.